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The Big Game! I don’t know if I can say the name. The S-Name, you know what I mean. It’s Sunday as I’m writing this and the big annual Football-Game-Which-Cannot-Be-Named is/has happened and there’s a sizable chance you will see/have seen it!
In celebration, I’ve assembled a list of comic book character who put blood and sweat on the gridiron. It only makes sense. Comic books and football go together like peanut butter and lightly salted fish sticks. If you know what I mean.
Grab your chips, dips, wings, more dip, Batman-themed sports jerseys, and lets get on with it.
Everyone’s favorite goofy hero-wannabe Booster Gold started as a star quarterback in the 25th century. However, things took a turn when his scumbag father reentered his life and made him loose games for sweet, sweet future money. Disgraced, he was relegated to a janitor in a superhero museum where, as janitors are wont to do, he steals an exhibit an travels hundreds of years into the past.
Victor Stone, the son of two brilliant scientists, was also a star football player. This put him at odds with his overbearing, emotionally distant father. Then some horrific accident takes place (it differs depending on what continuity you subscribe to) and blah blah blah he becomes a half-machine abomination who must forever grapple with his humanity. I don’t know if it’s a metaphor for the current state of pro football, I leave the analysis to the experts.
Ultimate Ben Grimm was a star linebacker for his high school football team, earning him the name The Grimm Reaper. Also, as luck would have it, it’s where he developed his “clobbering time catchphrase” that is more popular than any catchphrase ever uttered in the history of time.
As an added bonus, there is an alternate reality shown in a single issue of Fantastic Four wherein Ben becomes a star pro football player after his transformation. That can’t be legal though, right? I mean, they don’t allow for performance enhancing drugs and what’s more performance enhancing than being a giant stone monster?
In the New 52, Ronnie Raymond was a star football captain. What’s the deal with being a star football player? Is there a rule against a comic book character being a mediocre football player? Yikes. Anyway, Ronnie was a your stereotypical super cool jock before being fused with your stereotypical nerd, thus becoming Firestorm. Which is what I think happens to most players who don’t get a scholarship. Metaphorically.
Flash Thompson. Is there any comic book character who better epitomized the jock football player archetype? The answer is no, of course not. Flash was (another) star football captain who tormented Peter Parker all through high school. His transformation into superhero didn’t come until much later, however. After a lengthy battle with alcoholism and then loosing both legs in the army, in fact. DON’T WORRY THOUGH, then he takes a job undertaking dangerous missions in a lobotomized Venom symbiote. Sports!