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The New York Comic Con is this weekend and, many of those attending are fretting that they won’t look good in their Batman costumes, or may not have the stamina to stay on their feet for the three-day nerdfest. However, Player Affinity’s fitness experts will give you some fast-acting tips to help you become healthy and attractive in just days before any comic book, or video game convention.
The three pillars of health and beauty are Diet, Exercise and Hygiene. Normally it takes months for diets to pay off, weeks before exercise shows any results, and the human body requires constant hygiene. However, fitness gurus and dieticians know that there are many last minute preparations that can help in specific situations.
Marathon runners engage in a practice called “Carboloading” in which they “Load up” on foods which are high in “Carbo”hydrates, the night before a marathon. This gives their bodies the fuel they need to run 26 miles in one day. If you’re going to a three-day convention, you’ll need to start carboloading three days ahead of time to ensure that you’ve stock-piled the nutrition you’ll need for 72 hours of geeking out.
Suitable for “Carboloading”
Three days before your con, start eating at least 6,000 calories per day. Make sure the foods are high in carbohydrates, fat and sugar. Then continue this diet for the rest of the week. An easy way to achieve this target goal is to consume twelve meals a day each of which contains 500 calories. Remember, conventions can be full of distractions, and attendees often literally forget to eat. Make sure that you eat an extra large breakfast on the first day of the con as well.
Jogging, yoga and Jai Alai are all well and good for general fitness, but personal trainers will tell you that preparing for a specific event (Like a comic book convention) requires that you train with specific exercises. At the convention you will be standing. A lot. You’ll be standing in line to shake hands with Stan Lee, standing in line to get Rob Leifeld’s autograph, and standing in line to meet Katee Sackhoff from TV’s Battlestar Galactica.
In order to strengthen the muscle groups you’ll use standing in slow-moving lines, you need to spend one hour a day using the new fitness technique: Power Shuffle. To Power Shuffle, place your feet parallel to each other, eighteen inches apart. Then move one foot forward six inches, every minute. Pause for ten seconds, then move the other foot the same distance. This will help flatten those arches and tighten your hamstrings, preparing you for a three hour wait to meet TV’s Katee Sackhoff.
As any yoga instructor will tell you, breathing is important to get the most out of you fitness regime. Breathing is also important if you want to have a meaningful conversation with Katee Sackhoff. She’ll probably just smile uncomfortably if you approach her and sputter out an unintelligible stream of compliments. The following breathing exercise will help you make a coherent statement, which will prompt Katee to politely respond.
As you practice your Power Shuffle, take a deep breath in through the nose, then as you exhale say in a clear voice “Hello Katee”. Inhale. “Tell Me About”. Inhale. “Your Next Project”. This will give Katee a chance to promote her role in Sharktopus 2, and will keep your bloodstream properly oxygenated.
In order to both look and smell pleasantly for your fellow convention-goers, you will need to practice some form of hygiene. Maintaining your body’s external layer can be expensive and time-consuming, but here a few pointers to help minimize the effort.
Four out of Five dentists recommend chewing sugarless gum instead of brushing your teeth. Keep a pack of gum in your pocket and you can maintain the illusion of good dental health, without all that annoying flossing.
Although clothing can be washed regularly, this will often erode the fabric in your favorite clothes. Deodorant can stain the armpits of some garments, increasing the frequency with which you must clean them. Save on the wear ‘n’ tear of your limited edition “Marvel VS Capcom” T-shirt by foregoing laundry and deodorant altogether. A simple application of Febreze to your clothing several times a day at the convention will keep you smelling fresh.
Numerous companies at any convention will be giving away hats with their corporate logo. As soon as you enter the con, acquire one of these hats. This will preclude the need to groom your hair at all during the weekend of the convention.
The New York Comic Con is still days away, which is still plenty of time to implement these procedures. Even if you aren’t coming to New York this weekend, these handy tips will assist you in last minute preparations for the Penny Arcade Expo, E3, or Dragon Con next year. Use them well.