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Welcome to Player Affinity Movies, or accidentally, PAM

On behalf of the Player Affinity Movies section, I welcome you to — the Player Affinity Movies section. As such, we are stuck with the homely yet completely unavoidable acronym PAM. Even if you add “section” to it, it would still be PAMS, which doesn’t lessen the PAM-ness.

But I’m going to roll with it. PAM will grow on you. You might not know a lot about PAM right now, but you’ll learn to like PAM, kind of like how you got used to Great Aunt Pam after awhile.

Maybe the best to explain our operation here at PAM is to compare us to Pams that you might already be familiar with.

 

Pams that we’re NOT like

Pamela Voorhees

Rest assured, PAM will not be giving birth to a socially deranged psychopathic murderer named Jason that wears a hockey mask and spawns countless sequels you couldn’t care less about. We’ll of course be giving horror films equal attention here at PAM — our team member (Pammer?) Chris is an entrenched horror fanatic — but to play out the metaphor, we won’t be stabbing you repeatedly with movie news that’s just heresay or every little promotional poster or whatever that comes out for Iron Man 2. We’re going to sort through the droves of movie news and give you the most relevant stuff on the biggest movies in theaters or coming soon.


Pamela Smart

Unlike Smart, we aren’t serving a life sentence for accomplice to and conspiracy to murder after convincing our teenage lover to kill our spouse. But if we had, that was like 20 years ago, so get over it.

PAM the Cooking Spray

The reasoning is simple: You’ll want to stick with us.

 

Pams we’re SOMEWHAT like

Pamela Anderson

I think we’re Pamela Anderson without the implants in those innocent days as the Tool Time girl on Home Improvement, but I’d be lying if I tried to sell us as the icon that Borat would travel across the country for. We’re just not that good — yet. We also won’t come across as, well, fake. Our team is composed mostly of passionate movie geeks like yourselves who have the same weak spots for superhero films and get giddy when things explode and ladies, such as Pamela Anderson, accompany them. That doesn’t mean we all loved Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen — it just tells you about one of the small redeeming factors of that film.


Pams that we ARE like

Pam Beesly/Halpert

Ah yes, now here’s an accurate PAM comparison. Everyone loves Pam Beesly, or if you’re following along on the American version of The Office, Pam Halpert. She’s humble yet attractive, which I must say accurately represents the work of our webmaster. At the same time, you know she can pull off super sexy if she wants. Maybe I’m just rambling about Jenna Fischer, but whatever. Fact is, when PAM wants to get down, we’re going to provide some of the most fun and original movie content out there, but for starters, we’re going to just cover our bases and be average on the babe scale, occasionally slipping into something a little more alluring that will keep you coming back for more PAM. Ah yes, now you understand exactly what I mean.

To be a bit more serious, here are some of things you can expect when you check out PAM.

  • Reviews of only the movies you’re interested in or lesser-known films that you should check out
  • A composite score attached to each review with thoughts from every PAM critic who has seen the film to give you the most inclusive rating of any site on the net this side of Rotten Tomatoes
  • Latest movie news with a focus on video game, comic or graphic novel-based movies in addition to other anticipated blockbusters
  • Latest trailers, first images and our impressions of them
  • Exclusive interviews with actors and filmmakers
  • What cool releases are out on DVD and Blu-ray each week
  • Feature stories from Top 10 lists to time-relevant stories and perspective pieces on what’s abuzz in Hollywood
  • Box office predictions and analysis
  • Whatever ideas you give us. We want to cater to our readers above all else

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