In Comic Affinity's Who's Who, we talk about comic book characters you've never heard of – and this week we have some of the weirdest characters and teams you've never heard of from comics you have heard of, including Doctor Bong, Hellcow, Codpiece, Phone Ranger and Armless Tiger Man. Doctor Bong Don't expect a druggie going out of his way to steal for his next high. Lester Verse, a.k.a. Doctor Bong, was a renowned journalist. He used his journalism skills for slander and would destroy anyone in his writing that set him off. The "Doc" had an unhealthy, stalkerish obsession with Beverly Switzler (side-kick and friend to Howard the Duck, another character who also deserves to make this kind of list). To get close to Beverly, Lester became a music critic and, when participating in a performance (apparently he read his music-critic job contract wrong), lost his left hand to a guillotine. Lester later picks up genetic engineering and sonics for unknown reasons and adopts the comical moniker of Doctor Bong. He attached a striker where his hand was severed off and, by striking it on a bell, can create bolts, paralyze individuals and teleport himself long distances. He can also teleport his castle, alter genetic structures with his evolvochamber and uses technology to create complex illusions. He once managed to change Howard the Duck into a human. He also used a bong to get away from Deadpool, who was revealed to be his former patient when he worked as a psychiatrist. Doctor Bong is a man who has truly done everything... except smoked a bong. Hellcow Bessie is a three-hundred-year-old cow born and raised in Switzerland. It's also where a thirsty Dracula found and killed her when he could find no humans around. The next day after Bessie's encounter with Dracula, her owner found her dead and buried her. Unfortunately, Dracula's killing skills seem to have missed their mark because Bessie rose from the grave three days later. She vowed vengeance on Dracula and all other vampires. During her journey to find and kill Dracula, Hellcow has run into Man-Thing, Howard the Duck and Deadpool. Codpiece Oh GOD no. No. Can... can I even show a picture of this? Codpiece made one appearance in Doom Patrol, still burned into my mind. Throughout his life, Codpiece (and his real name is not given, so I assume his mother hated him really badly) had several bad relationships that he always blamed on his... um... lack of endowment. Really, Codpiece's several failed relationships and a bad experience with a doctor, were not always the fault of his groin but of his mind. Paranoid by this thought, Codpiece created a suit with a weapon that attached to his groin. The weapon could transform into several different gadgets, including a spring-loaded boxing glove, an intimidating drill, giant scissors, an ultra sound emitter and a rocket firing canon. Codpiece now packs a lot of punch down there. Zebra Man You could almost say Zebra Man is the most "famous" character on this list since one version of him fought Batman while another Zebra Man fought Batman's very own team, the Outsiders. The first Zebra Man was inventor Jake Baker, who made a gadget that gave off a black and white aura. It's energy lines could repel matter using magnetism. He used a belt to control the gadget's rays since it was impossible to turn it off. He infected Batman with the energy field created by the device. The second Zebra Man was created by Kobra by replicating the first Zebra Man's experiment. You may have also seen Zebra Man on TV, featured on Batman the Brave and the Bold TV series, once as a creation of Bat-Mite in "Legend of the Dark Mire." Armless Tiger Man What's up with comic book characters and nonexistent limbs? All joking aside, Hertz (a.k.a. Armless Tiger Man) had a tragic start in his comic book life. As a young boy Hertz, while working in a factory, got his arms stuck in a machine. He lost both of them, but learned to work with his feet and teeth. He grew to hate the machines, responsible for taking his arms, and the Gestapo sent him to America to destroy their machines. He was taken into custody with the help of the golden age hero the Angel after he murdered someone. Hertz is able to throw knives with his toes and sharpened his toe-nails so they could serve as lethal weapons. Hope you enjoyed our look into the weirdest realms of comics. Some realms I'm sure many people don't think should be traveled to. These aren't all bad characters, just weird ones. Some are tragic and armless, others are poorly endowed. So come back for another Comic Affinity's Who's Who to see some of the weirdest characters that you've never heard of.
An all-around nerdette, I’m a comic book connoisseur, horror aficionado, video game addict, anime enthusiast and an aspiring novelist/comic book writer. I am the head of the comic book department and the editor-in-chief of Entertainment Fuse. I also write and edit articles for Comic Frontline. I am also an intern at Action Lab Entertainment, a comic book publisher at which I edit comic book scripts, help work on images in solicitations and help with other comic book related project. My own personal website is comicmaven.com.