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Hit Monkey is a monkey assassin, but sadly, not a very good one. He’s just a monkey that knows how to shoot a gun. He began as a digital comic on Marvel.com that grew in popularity “forcing” Marvel to actually print the issue.
The story of Hit Monkey goes as such: An assassin is on the run from someone he has pissed-off and is forced into the mountains of whatever godforsaken country he’s in. There he’s taken in by monkeys and accepted into their clan by all. Well, all but one… Hit Monkey!
You see, young Hit Monkey is no ordinary monkey. He knows that this assassin is bad news and will bring about the downfall of his clan, though that doesn’t stop him from learning from the assassin and memorizing his ways. Apparently Hit Monkey has an eidetic memory, and only needs to see the assassin take down self-made snowmen, to learn all of his secrets and become… Hit Monkey, the monkey assassin!
The day comes when other men show up looking for the Assassin. Despite having spent his days training for their arrival, he doesn’t so much as lift a finger to stop them and instead the Assassin allows his assailants to gun him down in the hot springs of the mountain. The rest of the monkey clan doesn’t take too kindly to the murder and start a ruckus. Sadly, machine guns kill monkeys just as easily as humans and the monkey’s are quickly disposed of except… young Hit Monkey!
Hit Monkey, who had been outcast from the clan arrives, but just in time to see them gunned down. He uses his “training” to gun down the monkey murderers. He jumps, he dodges, and he does his monkey kick move that they show him doing a lot. He kills them all because he’s… Hit Monkey!
This issue had to start off as a joke. Daniel Way (Punisher vs. Bullseye, Wolverine: Origin) must have been sitting at a bar with friends and bet someone that he could give a monkey a gun in a comic book. Then he went to Marvel and they said, “Well Marvel Apes didn’t sell that well but fans seem to latch onto it and we’ll pretty much make anything if someone will buy it, so go for it.” They talk like that by the way, just one big run on sentence. So here it is… Hit Monkey!
The sad part is that this is a very competent story that while goofy is very good, if not for the monkey. The narrative is strong and the story’s pacing is fast, it’s probably one of the best things Daniel Way has written. Unfortunately it’s a complete joke that can’t be taken serious. The material may be presented seriously, but it still boils down to a monkey with a gun, leaving me to wonder how many people at Marvel are laughing at the fans.
The cover states that Hit Monkey is the world’s greatest assassin, yet he never assassinates anyone. He avenges the murder of his clan, but I don’t see anyone paying him to do it. I’m also baffled by the fact that he’s wearing a three piece suit on the cover. If Hit Monkey only speaks with screams and punches to the face, how the hell did he communicate with a tailor? Again all of this seems to be a joke that went too far.
If you’re looking to read this book, you can do so on Marvel.com’s digital comic section. You can also pay a lot of money for the print version at a comic shop where it’s strangely becoming a collector’s item. Hit Monkey’s journey is far from over as he will be appearing in a three issue miniseries due out later this year. Personally, I wonder about Marvel fans and why they would be willing to pay for something that insults their intelligence? Perhaps I simply don’t get the joke.
Overall Score – 3.3/10
I have a comic idea about a Giraffe that cuts hedges and trees with chainsaws that he controls with his mind! Someone give me some money and I’ll make it happen! Follow me on Twitter and tell me why Hit Monkey is awesome in the comments below.