Turn off the Lights

Know Your Facts: Combining Drugs and Movies

Have you ever gotten through (or god forbid) enjoyed a bad movie simply because you were inebriated at the time? All those Ed Wood’s and Friedberg Seltzers out there should be praising the sauce and its ability to make dreck cinema tolerable. In honour of the release of stoner comedy Your Highness, which finds its stars under the influence of all sorts of funky stuff, Player Affinity has assembled this helpful pamphlet to help you get through those dark movie times.


Alcohol is third, only to downloading and marijuana, as the major cause of enjoying bad movies in The United States. Each year, for Americans aged 15 years and older, it’s estimated 800,000 people smile, and 540,000 laugh at bad movies due to an inebriated state in America alone.


The effects of alcohol and weed on a crappy film will vary for each individual. The following factors can influence the person’s level of enjoyment while intoxicated:

  • How much and how quickly alcohol/doobie is consumed/inhaled
  • The person’s mood
  • Age, sex, body weight, amount of texting
  • How regularly you drink during movies, or toke beforehand
  • Whether a combination of said drugs have been used
  • Whether a person has had too much food and water before drinking

Drinking or toking small amounts can result in the person feeling less annoyed/cheated out of their money, more relaxed and happy. In large amounts, people may experience problems with coordination, confusion, slurred speech, blurred vision and dizziness (all preferable to the product on display) and feeling sick, vomiting and passing out, though the latter effects are likely due to the showing of House of the Dead and not the drug. These substances, specifically alcohol, can intensify negative emotions and is often linked to violence/throwing popcorn at the screen. Violence is not appropriate in any situation outside the movie theatre, so if using these substances contributes to a person becoming violent, they should think about changing either their drinking habits, or paying more attention to Roger Ebert.


Grog, Weed, Booze, Grass, Piss, Marry Jane, Sauce, Pot, Brew, Chronic, Juice, Boll, Ratner


Bad films are a toxic substance and like all toxins, when you are exposed, you will feel certain effects. When watching a shitty flick it’s a good idea to know how to do so safely and responsibly. Avoid eating a decent meal before drinking as it will in all likelihood end up in a waste bin. Arm yourself with no smaller than a large popcorn in preparation for the munchies or if alcohol is your substance of choice, bring a small flask for appropriate spiking of an overpriced fountain drink. Be sure to follow the recommended exposure guidelines as well; limit yourself to no more than one Michael Bay film per month.

It is important to never watch movies alone, and if you drink or smoke up, DON’T drive

The guidelines for safe movie watching are 1 movie per year for Uwe Boll and 2 views per day for Paul W.S. Anderson. As an illustration, let`s look at alcohol. A standard drink contains 10gms of pure alcohol, so drink accordingly. Some examples are:

  • 375ml of light beer (stubby or can)
  • 285ml of full strength beer (middy)
  • 100ml red or white wine (small glass) *
  • 30ml spirits

*A large glass of wine may hold 2 or more standard drinks (so I’d go with this).



For some men, lack of alcohol or weed use when attending a poor-calibre film with a date could increase their risk for:

  • No second date
  • Excessive texting
  • Sympathy good night kiss
  • Girl talk
  • General embarrassment
  • Goading from guy friends


Binge watching while sober is a serious issue as people are more likely to put themselves or others in dangerous situations such as an empty wallet, dead brain cells, refunds, or arrests following vocal protest to the movie theatre owner. In addition, binge watching without stimulation may result in general embarrassment about what the hell of which you have just been a part, which many deeply regret later. It is important not to mix bad movies without the aid of alcohol or marijuana because of possible interactions and it is difficult to gauge how much has been consumed. If you are going to watch a bad movie sober it is wise to plan how you are going to get home as your dazed state may lead to injury. Make sure you have enough money to get a taxi or bus, or buy some booze (then skip to your dealer) to quickly strip all memory of the experience from your mind.


  • Even underage drug use can have a positive effect on awful movies.
  • Kids who start drinking before the age of 15 are five times more likely to be prepared to take a nip when heading into a potentially bad movie, than those who start of the age of 21.
  • One out of every two eighth graders has tried to go to a bad movie sober.
  • Sobriety may lead young people to engage in risky behaviours that result in you being unprepared for a screening of Daredevil.
  • It should be illegal for anyone to sell or posses tickets to crappy movies over the age of eight.

Be safe out there!



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