Turn off the Lights

New Product From EA Will Enlarge Your Johnson

Electronic Arts, and Japanese developer Grasshopper Manufacture promise to enlarge your Johnson with their new game Shadows of the Damned.  And, just for the record, the game's protagonist calls his gun Johnson, and they're talking about in-game power-ups.  If you thought I was talking about anything else, you have a filthy mind.

The new game is from the Director of No More Heroes, and is produced by the director of Resident Evil, with music composed by the fellow who did Silent Hill. Shadows of the Damned will be about a demon hunter who journeys into Hell in order to rescue the woman he loves.  But don't expect some artsy-smartsy Orpheus and Eurydice metaphor, this game is going to be about a biker dude who shoots his way into the netherworld with guns.  BIG guns!  Our hero, Garcia has a demonic pal named Johnson who can transform into a variety of guns like the one below:

Perhaps our hero is compensating for something with the firearm depicted above, but you'll be able to feel like a big man too as you use your phallic symbol to kill the Hell of all sorts of enemies once Shadows of the Damned hit store shelves.  It comes out for XBox and Playstation 3 on June 21st.  You can see more details on the game's website, and the new video is below.


Meet the Author

User not found.

Follow Us