Trailer Tracker to J-27; it’s a hit! Our featured trailer this week is the mega-budgeted “adaptation” of the Milton Bradley board game, Battleship, starring Liam Neeson and Taylor Kitsch, directed by Peter Berg whereby an armada of ships does battle with a sea-bound alien race (no, I’m not shitting you). Next, a trilogy doth round out with Paranormal Activity 3, the second sequel to the wildly successful haunted house found-footage series. Daniel Craig gets a scare of his own in Dream House, the psychological horror flick about all things that go bump in the night. Finally, the pseudo-sequel to the star-stuffed Valentine’s Day arrives with the ensemble-butchering of another beloved holiday in New Year’s Eve and delivering the goods (so to speak) that rom-coms never do, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy, starring Jason Sudeikis, bares all for the sake of one damn good party. It’s always an orgy at Player Affinity — of fun. It’s Trailer Tracker.
New clips this week:
Battleship
Paranormal Activity 3
Dream House
New Year’s Eve
A Good Old Fashioned Orgy
Battleship
Hit or miss, just like the game, I can’t decide if the trailer for Battleship the greatest thing I have ever seen or the most rancid steaming pile of cow dung I’ve ever seen smeared on the big screen. What tilts me towards the former is the pure desire to see somebody in the cast quip: “you sank my battleship.” Singer Rihanna makes her film debut in Peter Berg’s (The Rundown, Hancock) FX-heavy action flick along with Liam Neeson as the fleet’s Admiral, Taylor Kitsch as the male lead as well as True Blood's wonderful Alexander Skarsgard in a supporting role. With a rumored budget at a mammoth $200 million, Universal is putting all their ships in one corner, as it were, and with the silly alien-centric plot and knowledge that this is in fact the cinematic treatment of a game, it will undoubtedly present an uphill battle for this venture.
Due for a May 18 release
next summer, the clip promises some game-esque overhead shots of the warring
ships, along with the essential romance which really grounds all of this
heavy-handed, mature material in reality. All kidding aside, this could be
dopey fun if the studio knows what they have on their hands and strike a tone
accordingly, plus I really just want to see Liam Neeson crack some one-liners. The
man-in-everything Jeremy Renner was originally attached to star but was
required to drop out because of scheduling conflicts and I suppose only time
will tell if this was a wise or poor choice. What am I saying? Of course it was
a bad choice, who passes up the chance to blast alien spaceships (spaceboats?) with
mini-guns and cannons?
Paranormal Activity 3
Only three films deep, we
are already into prequel territory with the “Paranormal Activity” franchise,
the third installment will explore events 18 years prior when sisters (you may
remember them as the female fodder from the first two films) Katie and Kristie
were young and first tormented by the sadistic demon in the night. Director of
the first, Oren Peli is again on producing duties with a duo of first time
directors talking the helm. The trailer promises nothing new except your usual
jump scares, creepy static shots of empty rooms and sleep-deprived individuals.
That’s what audiences have been eating up in these past two fall seasons, and
both tore up the box office enough, and were received favorably enough to
warrant another trip to this particular haunted house ...
Dream House
... or not. In Dream House, Daniel Craig’s Will and his
wife Libby (Rachael Weisz, his now real-life wife) move into their idealistic abode only to discover,
courtesy of their neighbors, (played by Naomi Watts and Marton Csokas) that a
family was brutally murdered there years earlier. To make matters worse, Will
suffers visions that might tie him closer to the home than he ever thought. The
trailer is exceptionally cut and the cast stellar. Director Jim Sheridan (My Left Foot, Brothers) can deftly handle psychological material and the
production values on display look top-notch. The film’s cross to bear will be
elevating itself above the normal haunted house conventions and not rely upon a big dopey twist when the
finale rolls around. Right now, however, this has my horror bug itching from
some more.
New Year’s Eve
Here’s what you need to
know: Robert De Niro, Zac Efron, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ashton Kutcher, Hilary
Swank, Abigail Breslin, Katherine Heigl, Jessica Biel, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lea Michele, Josh Duhamel
and Sofía Vergara. Interested? Then go see New
Year’s Eve as its ensemble format is merely a showcase for many good
looking celebrities. Not interested? Then you likely have good taste.
A Good Old Fashioned Orgy
Now who doesn’t like an orgy? All the pleasure of making love with a woman but with more hairy man asses to stare at. In “Old Fashioned” (even that sounds dirty) a gang of buddies led by the perpetually immature Jason Sudeikis decide to give one last hurrah after his father announces he is selling his house, the epicenter of his parties. Joined by funny sketch comedians such as Will Forte and Lucy Punch, the R-rated feature promises some crude laughs but does not seem to push the genre in any meaningful or daring way. "Orgy” debuted at the Tribeca Film Festival in April of this year to mixed reception. Even though I doubt this feature will ever see a wide release, it seems to lay dead center of rental territory.