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Ubisoft E3 2016 Press Conference Recap

"Well, that was just ok."
Ubisoft e3 presser The buzz going in was that would be updates for Watch Dogs 2, as well as Ghost Recon Wildlands and For Honor. I’m a fan of the Assassin’s Creed games so I was looking forward to some news on the next game there. Most of those expectations were met (except Assassin’s Creed). There were two surprises for me that I was all about and made my soul happy. Sadly, soul happiness does not forgive lasting way too long. On a side note, I don’t know what people have been saying about Aisha Tyler, but she is the only reason I got through the whole thing. Don’t listen to them, Aisha. You’re awesome. Just Dance 2017 started the press conference with a rousing dance number and Queen’s Having a Good Time. And it got weird. Really weird. I’m talking Katy Perry at the Superbowl. There was a dude in a giraffe costume. Queen’s always going to pump you up, but … well… yeah. Aisha echoed my thoughts perfectly when she came out to get the show started with some self-deprecating humor. Why would people be mean to you Aisha? Why? They were going for an upbeat fun start, but I’m not sure they got the tone right considering… Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Wildlands https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ys7VVZvTjs Ghost Recon: Wildlands has a seriously dark tone. There are deeply disturbing elements to the story which seem to say something about the power and violence behind South American cartels. It gives us some really dark moments from the narrator of the trailer. The examples they use are not unlike stories I’ve heard and read about real life cartels. As for the gameplay it looks like serious fun, as long as I'm playing with three friends. The stealth and open world aspects look pretty fun. I question how it will come together on a solo play through. The gameplay was cut together smoothly, and with action, but I doubt the game will work that well. South Park: The Fractured but Whole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiayfb1rrs0 Ok, this segment started with a great fake out trailer that had me pretty excited to see what was going on. There was worldwide violence. Plague. Fake news stories. And then I heard Cartman and I was all, WHAAAAT!!!! So this game is a send up of the superhero genre, in the same way The Stick of Truth was a send up of fantasy films. It seems that the team has changed the fighting mechanics and time controls from the previous game, improving how space is used. None of that matters because I just now got the joke from the name of this game. Tom Clancy’s The Division https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De-x3xxG1bU Tom Clancy’s The Division is coming out with two Expansion Packs. The first up will be the Underground expansion coming out on June 28th for PC and Xbox One and later for the PS4. The next one, Survival is due in September and came with this pretty intense trailer. Eagle Flight In the Demo for Eagle Flight they had a live PvP VR team match of catching Rabbits. It was not exciting to watch. Although I do not doubt that it is a blast to play. I just question how well this is going to translate into something that I want to play. And as always, when I see VR I think “There is no way I’m going to waste my money on this.” That lasted for all of ten seconds because… Star Trek https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd2ZxzDWBqM Apparently this one was spoiled by reddit, but I did not know that so in lieu of recapping my notes I will just leave them for you here. Enjoy. Is this Star Trek? MOTHERF#%^ING VR STAR TREK!!!!! HOLY @^*%!!!! Levar Burton is stoked about it. I really don’t need more than this. Geordi Goddamn LaForge says it’s what you want so this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to do this for the rest of my life. I’m not even messing around. Star Trek: Bridge Crew is the reason I’m going to be getting VR. Geordi says I’m on the bridge of a starship with my friends. I don’t need to be sold anymore on this. Dammit, I have to have friends to play this. I’m terrible at friends. I want to have Levar Burton’s Crew. Can I roll with the Next Gen Crew? I really would like that. Comes out this fall. For Honor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etZaAW_R7M8 My computer glitched out and I missed part of this presentation resetting modems and such. It’s a total bummer because the game looks interesting to me. It’s a mashup of knights, samurai, and vikings. Looks cool, but the gameplay seemed fairly generic, but the presenter seemed so into it that it kinda hurt to look. So maybe it will be good. Grow Up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEBtCHk8_YA This game looks beautiful and soulful. It looks like it was made lovingly and it’s a sequel to a game that already came out. I think it will be worth checking out. Trials of the Blood Dragon  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzxhVkeWgPY My internet went wonky right at the start of this presentation, and it came up with two guys in awful sweat suits. I was still disoriented when the trailer started to play. And then I got I’m concerned about whether or not I dropped acid while watching think that is what they were going for, but still. This game was released after the press conference on PS4, Xbox One and PC. Assassins Creed Movie stuff. Giant plugs. They really want us to be excited about the Assassin’s Creed film. I saw the trailer. Aisha Tyler pressed the presenter for any secrets and dirt that he can reveal about the film and he said nothing. But then he gave us a sneak peek. I’ve literally never learned as little from a sneak peek as I have from this. Although I do like Michael Fassbender. Oooo and Jeremy Irons. Comes out in December. Watch Dogs 2   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hh9x4NqW0Dw   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=243NzPs0vG4 DedSec Viral trailer, was something I liked. How it chased Aisha off the stage in the middle of her sentence was something I didn’t like. WatchDogs 2 is going to be in San Fransisco. It will have African American protagonist. Marcus. The antagonist looks to be a cross between Trump and Ted Cruz. It looks like using drones is going to be the next big thing that games do when combined with Ghost Recon. Actually, I’m ok with this because there was an adorably wheeled droid. The game will be released on November 16th for PS4. There was also talk of a Watch Dogs film, but they want to see how Assassin’s Creed does first. Steep https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t32yR-SNW6s This was the final presentation. This is a game about the mountains and extreme sports. It looks like it will be beautiful and challenging. Steep is an open world sports game. You are going to traverse a mountain range in France. It has a replay feature that is probably one of the best that I’ve ever seen. It does basically what movies think you can do with any photo and a computer. Enhance. Change perspectives. Zoom in. It’s really cool. Steep comes out in December. Two must haves and then a whole bunch of meh. There are three things to know about this press conference. Star Trek is happening and is the only thing that could possibly get me to do VR. South Park’s new game looks funny and has a filthy name. They could have just left it at Star Trek for me and I would have called this press conference a rousing success. Instead it went on for another hour and gave me a headache.


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I'm a writer. I write things. And I eat pizza. This is zen.

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