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Become An Adonis For Your Next Convention

The New
York Comic Con and Animefest are this weekend and many of our readers will be
attending, but some are afraid they won’t look sexy enough in their Doctor
Manhattan costumes, or may not have the necessary stamina to participate in the
weekend-long event.  However, Player Affinity’s fitness experts are here
to offer some advice to help you become healthy and attractive in just hours
before any comic book or video game convention.

Diet,
Exercise and Hygiene are the three cornerstones of health and beauty. Typically
it takes weeks before a health and beauty regimen show results, but the Player
Affinity fitness gurus know some quick fixes that can get you ready to strut
around in your Spider-Man outfit with less than a day of preparation.

Long-distance
runners often use a technique called “Carboloading” to help build their stamina
before a big race. Eating thousands of calories the night before a marathon
will give your body the fuel needed to run 26 miles.  The same practice applies to a three-day comic book
convention, only you’ll need to carbo-load enough calories to last the
whole weekend. Starting now, you should make sure you eat at least six meals each
day, with every meal having at least 1,500 calories.  Stick to foods that are high in fats; no sense wasting
precious energy converting carbohydrates and sugar into fats, when you can just
eat the fat directly.

But
proper nutrition is only one part of our three-pronged plan.  You’ll also need to get in some
exercise to prepare your muscles for long periods of standing in line. 

The
Lovely Felicia Day will be at this year’s NY Comic Con, and the line to stammer
awkward compliments at her will be several miles long.  To get your muscles in shape for this,
practice standing perfectly still for hours at a time, then take one small step
forward every thirty minutes or so. 
This will simulate the experience of waiting in line at Comic Con, and
get your calves into that rock-hard state of rigidity they’ll need for the
weekend.

 

When you
actually reach the head of that line and get to meet Felicia Day, you’ll want
to make sure you’ve been using the third part of our health & beauty
plan.  It’s called “Hygiene”. Basically
Hygiene is just a fancy work for cleaning and maintaining your body.

Grooming
yourself can require hours of work, scrubbing both your body and your clothes,
but here’s a quick fix that you can use at any convention.  Instead of washing your hair and putting
on a clean shirt, just grab a promotional hat and t-shirt from one of the
booths!

Your
Nvidia promotional cap, and On-Live t-shirt will smell new, and look clean,
allowing you to skip hygiene altogether. 
If you’re clever, you can score a new shirt and hat each day and can
avoid showering for the entire weekend. 
Those sexy cosplayers will be too busy admiring your Battlefield 3
t-shirt to bother smelling you anyway.

The NYCC is still a day away, and that’s all the time you
need to turn yourself into a paragon of health and beauty.  Remember, these tips will work at any
convention, not just the New York Comic Con.  You can use them to tone up for any nerdy event whether it’s
E3, PAX or Blizcon.  Use them well.

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