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‘Expendables 2’ Teaser: A Belt-Fed Barrage of Star Power

Say what you will of the creative minds behind The Expendables 2, at least they know
their audience. Why else would the trailer for a film ostensibly celebrating the time-honored
tradition of action-movie violence only show one measly instance of firearms
discharging? That’s cause Sylvester Stallone and company know what you’re really coming for:
the names.

The opening monologue suggests that Bruce
Willis
’ CIA operative from the first film will have a personal stake in the
next mission for Barney Ross and his band of merry mercs. That’s as much context
as you get, and honestly, probably want: The rest of the trailer is a surprisingly
reserved roll-call of all the film’s stars doing little more than brandishing obscenely
large weapons while grimacing.

Granted, said stars are
the starting line-up of every action movie fan’s wet-dream-team, as returning players
Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Statham are joined by the likes of Jean-Claude Van
Damme
and Chuck Norris. Also, a 12-pack of legitimate action movie stars comes
with a free Hemsworth brother, so there’s that.

 

That’s really the
selling point right there: The all-star game of action movie dudes you made up
in your head not only happened, it’s happening again, but with more people! Count
me in the camp of those disappointed by “Expendables,” so it speaks to the
strength of the concept that this trailer has me willing to get burned again. Van
Damme was arguably the biggest name absent from the first film and the promise
of expanded roles for Willis and Schwarzenegger is icing on the cake (or in
more appropriately testosterone-y talk, the flechette on the .50 caliber bullet).

Given the lukewarm critical
reception of The Expendables,
director Simon West actually has the chance to improve the franchise and the
strong foreign returns for the first film bode well for the sequel. So if (and
when) The Expendables 3 happens,
there comes the inevitable question of who the hell else they could add. Kurt
Russell and Steven Seagal are two of the remaining holdouts from the old guard,
but who do you think would make a good addition to this Ragnarok of film
franchises?      

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