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20 Questions with a Comic Novice

I've never done an interview. I'd like to, but there are two main obstacles at work. ONE: getting in touch with people is tough, you guys. Real tough. TWO: I'm inexperienced. Fortunately two is easiest to surmount so I can just do that right off. Unfortunately, number one leaves me with no one to interview. You see my dilemma. BUT GOOD NEWS. As much as I love interviews, I love quizzes even more. Thus borne was the idea to take someone who wasn't well versed in the realm of comic books and ask them a series of comic book related questions. Best case scenario we all have a laugh and and go home with smiles. Worst case scenario, we all die. So here goes. I asked the lovely Caroline -- a self-admitted comic book novice -- 20 comic book questions and will now present you with her answers. And just so you know I'm not like the sweaty creep down the hall and am just pretending to be the girl I'm talking to, I had her verify herself through Twitter. [caption id="attachment_49976" align="aligncenter" width="511"]Screen shot 2014-03-17 at 7.33.01 PM LOOK UPON IT AND SEE YE TRUTH[/caption] Here we go:

1. Name 4 Robins. From Batman.

Um. Dick Grayson. Tim Allen. Uhhhh... Bruce Wayne JR, and, um... Albert. You got one. One?! Tim Allen and Dick Grayson are both Robins. Tim Allen is from Home Improvement. [Laughter] Isn't there an 'Allen' Robin? [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="375"] If only[/caption] I think you're thinking of a Flash. Uh-uh. Barry Allen? ... it's possible.

2. Who founded the X-Men?

...Professor Xavier. You got it!

3. Who is the Question Mark-themed Batman villain?

The Riddler? Yes. Yes. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="315"] Yes?[/caption]

4. Which is a real character: Killer Moth, Tommy Two-Guns, Hardcastle, or Red Tiger?

Killer Moth.  Am I right? That your final answer? Sure? You sure? No. Positive?  Yeah... sure. Yeah. You're right! Okay.

5. What Marvel character is mostly just a head designed for killing?

[Rubs eyes] It's a a villain right? It's a villain. Is it the guy with the gorilla? No. It's not?! What's he in? Who does he fight? Lots of people. The Avengers mostly. What's his power? Um. Lot of mind stuff. Robot stuff. Lasers. What's the question again? What Marvel character is a head designed for killing? Killer... Head? Final answer? Yes. What is it? M.O.D.O.K [Unquenchable rage] HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW THAT?!

6. Name three of Spider-Man's girlfriends.

Ugh... okay. Gwen Stacy. Mary Jane.... and, uh. Gwen Stacy. Can't have two Gwens.  As much he'd like. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="472"] You always need a spare[/caption] Ugggggh... Sarah? No?

7. What city does Superman live in?


8. Name four members of any Teen Titans team.

Any? Any team. So I can use the ones from that TV show? [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="408"] Not this one.[/caption] I'd prefer comics. It's a thing about comics. Robin. Raven. Cyborg.... I dunno if they were in the comics or not. Beast Boy? Star Fire? TRICK QUESTION, they're all in the comic. You did it! [Self assured smile] Excellent.

9. The comic book Invincible is published by what company?

The comic book what? Invincible. Invincible? Who's the main character? Invincible. Are you fucking kidding me? [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="258"] This was her. But... metaphorically.[/caption] No. Is it the main two? No. What letter does it start with? I. [Incredulous laughter] Ugh, what does it rhyme with? Scrimmage. Image!

10. What is Catwoman's real name, first and/or last?

What's it start with? First or last? Both. S and a K. What... do they rhyme twice. I won't fall for your tricks twice. Squeaky Toy. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="477"] Squeak squeak[/caption] Toy doesn't start with a K. I said Squeaky Koy. It's not Squeaky Koy. What is it? Selina Kyle. I WAS CLOSE.

11. Where does Tony Stark work?

Stark Industries? Strip club? What? You should've stopped while you were ahead. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="465"] Just like Tony tried to.[/caption]

12. Daredevil has what disability?

He's blind? You answer everyone that you get correct as a question. [Laughter] Well I'm not sure!

13. What state is Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters located in?

Mmmmmmm does it start with an M? No. What does it start with? An N. Is it North something? [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="349"] Well technically...[/caption] Nope. [Stares confusedly] It starts with an 'N'? I dunno. Nevada? New York. [Buries head in hands]

14. Name one member of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Rocket... raccoon? Is that that thing? Is that something else. Are you going with Rocket Raccon? I dunno, should I? Seth Rogen? [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="369"] My favorite Marvel character[/caption] So either Rocket Raccoon or Seth Rogen. Uh, is that that movie that's coming out? Yes. Okay, yeah, the Rocket Raccoon thing.

15. Name as many members of the Fantastic Four as you can.

Like their real names... or their super... names? Either. Uh, Invisible Woman. Burning Man. Uhhhhh.... isn't there a stretchy one? Yes. Stretchy Guy. Elasti-Man. That's three. What's the power of the last one? Strength, durability, and lovely blue eyes. Aquaman. You did it! [Laughter]

16. A Green Lantern's power is based on their what?

Ring? It's more than that. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="509"] Sometimes too much more.[/caption] The strength of their character. Close. Their heart. You're closer than you think. Their ring finger. Do you want to know what it is? Yes please. Their will. Oh for a second I thought you meant like their last will and testament. ...

17. What is a weakness of Superman BESIDES Kryptonite?

His boner for Lois Lane. Kind of, not really. Uh, the fact that he wants to save everyone. Why are you getting so existential with this? I dunno! Uh. Hmmmm. Uuuuuum... You're gunna get kinda mad when you learn what it is. Like 'duh' mad. What is it? Don't tell me! [Thinks] He can never fall in love because he was conceived from a love potion. You're closer than you think. Really?! He can't love. He can't marry. He can't have sex because it'd shoot through the wall like a bullet. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="618"] It hasn't stopped him before.[/caption] N-no? You know what? If that's not the correct answer I don't want to be right. It's magic. OH YEAH!

18. What villainess is best friends with Poison Ivy?

Poison Oak You think you're pretty clever, huh? [Laughter] Uh, what's her name start with? H. Hibiscus. It's not a flower. What's the second letter of her name? A. Hhhrrrm. What's it rhyme with? Her name is a play on words. Involving what? Jesters and clowns. Mmmm. Hesters and hounds? It... it doesn't rhyme with jesters and clowns. [Nonsense words] I... I don't know. Harley Quinn. OH YEAH. It's a play on harlequin. [Nods in realization]

19. What nationality is Wolverine?

White. Nationality. Canadian? Yes! [Boisterous laughter]

20. Who killed Bruce's parents?

Mmmmmmm. The Man. Alfred? Uhhhh. The... Penguin. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="383"] The Man! Always bringing Bruce down[/caption] No to all of them. [Laughter] Would I know him? Personally? Should I know of him? I mean... that's up to you. How much Batman you should you know? Does he have a super power? Is being poor a super power? If it is I should get to be a hero. Or a villain. Have you seen Batman Begins? A long time ago. And you didn't memorize it? Surprisingly I had other things to do. WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! WHO IS HE? Joe Chill. Joe Chill? More like... parent... killer. Perfect. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="249"] THE PERFECT PARENT KILLING MACHINE[/caption]


Thanks for the opportunity to make a fool of myself! And, uh, I dunno. Other. Other stuff. No problem! I'm sure the Internet will be nothing if not forgiving. Oh yeah totally [sarcasm. I think.]  


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