Welcome to Ultimate Comics Avengers 2 #1, the sole owner of the most uninspiring five pages in comic book history. The man responsible for those five pages… None other than comic book fans favorite Mark Millar (Wanted, Kick Ass). Not only are the first five page devoid of all entertainment value, they’re just flat out embarrassing.
The issue begins with the Punisher “getting busy” with his guns that go “Choomf” (Millar’s words not mine). Castle has been spending the last two months working his way through an Eastern European crime family all in the hunt for their local boss, Joseph Petrenko, a.k.a. Russia’s Red Hammer. Petrenko runs one of the largest human trafficking outfits in the country. Castle’s opportunity finally arrives to take Petrenko out. He learns the hard way that S.H.E.I.L.D has caught up with him using the ol’ bait and switch. No Red Hammer, just a red face courtesy of Captain America. Once in custody, Nick Fury and Black Widow make Castle an offer he can’t refuse: A stint on death row or working with them in S.H.E.I.L.D’s new black ops program. He should have gone with death row! They do the jobs that Captain America and his friends would balk at…hence the reason they’re looking for a Captain America of their own.